Resetting & Restarting

I feel as though I blinked, and it’s June 23.

We have been longing to get out of the house, and we did, and now time seems to be flying by in a new, wild pace. B graduated from his residency program, we celebrated at the beach, we made a day-trip to my in-laws for Father’s Day, we worked a lot, we mowed the lawn, we worked some more, and we celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary with a little staycation in town. We stayed at a tiny, historic house just a few minutes up the road and ate takeout and read books together. We had the most FANTASTIC Japanese food I’ve ever had in my life and reconnected sharing a meal.

Perhaps the shifts feel so much more dramatic because there’s still just so little sense of what to anticipate for the future, and it still feels very not normal to live this way. In our state the number of hospitalizations hit a new all-time high today, and this week we experienced a new wave of cancellations for events and special celebrations in the end of summer and beginning of fall. The little griefs get all bottled up and then come out in waves, sometimes, and unexpectedly. We are unable to make plans, and I need plans as a part of my DNA. It’s so hard not to have them.

And yet, I am so attuned right now to the changing seasons and the natural world in a way that I think I never have before. I feel the heat without judgement, just feeling it and not dreading it and being present today. Seeing dragonflies resting on the bricks outside of my house, going on a walk and seeing the flora literally change from week to week as the month unfolds. Lightning bugs every night. Seeing the persistent piles of leftover leaves and sticks on my driveway and feeling a sense of clean, declutter, reset, renew in this space we are in, this new day that we have found. Get rid of everything that didn’t work before that’s taking up physical and emotional space. A new dining table, and this room just works now. There will be sungold tomatoes in our produce box this week. Tomatoes! It’s tomato season. What a blessing to be here. Hostas and lilies and fresh basil and fruit in every drink.

We are less than a month away from completing the 100 Day Challenge, and to no one’s shock I haven’t completed this in the way that I certainly imagined I would, but that is 100% ok and I’m still really happy to be here, to be writing, to be knitting, and sewing, and making a life. Thanks for being here with me and I am happy to be back at my desk at the end of June.

Easter Sunday

I once heard a sermon from a pastor that used the analogy of a piece of embroidery to help us understand difficult times. On the backside of things, the piece of art being created looks incredibly messy, unplanned, jarring, all over the place, and unintentional. The colors are mixed up, there are random pieces off to the side and overlapping, and the string looks awful. However, if you flip it over, you can see how a design has been created from all of those seemingly haphazard stitches and the beauty of the finished work to be displayed. This image has been coming to me a lot over the past few weeks, and particularly this Easter Sunday as we walk through a very uncertain and messy season in the world. It brings me hope, and I hope it brings you hope too.

May we trust that the finished piece of art, this life, will be worth all of the confusion in the end. Happy Easter all, and to my friends who are celebrating, He is Risen!

Friday, Friday 4.10.20

What a week!

I said my goals out loud and started a daily blog habit that I am loving.

I made a large batch of French onion soup and loved eating it all week.

I watched the pink shadows outside my frosted bathroom window become vibrantly pink with the giant azalea blooms outside.

I didn’t do a great job of getting up and moving my body, but I got a lot of work done.

I finished a big project for a tiny human.

I made two cakes, including a wedding cake.

We mulched our front yard and welcomed spring weather.

I cooked a delicious hash for breakfast.

I got ready to love on some dear friends who will host a private ceremony today for their wedding in lieu of the party they had planned.

I ripped out a few inches on my Wool & Honey sweater when I saw a mistake I knew I’d never be able to let go of, and felt good about it.

I hung out with my husband and cats a lot.

It feels as though we have been living in our home in self-quarantine forever, but really it’s only been about a month. It’s weird thinking of all of the things I used to take for granted as so normal that now I miss so much. Going to the library. Getting a coffee downtown. Eating at a restaurant. Popping into my local yarn store. Not wondering whether a business is going to be open this weekend that I randomly need to visit. Going for a swim at the Y. Not wearing a mask outside. I know we’re getting through this, and in some ways have settled into a routine, but in others it just continues to be hard and I want to acknowledge and be OK in that space too. Happy weekend friends. May it be full of health and goodness and love for you!